Crashing into the Sun
by tristelamar
Summary: AU: A take on what could have happened right after Min Se - Yi told Seon - Woo that she had feelings for Seol - Chan. Written as kind of a missing moment. Min Se - Yi/Yoon Seol - Chan.


Crashing into the Sun

1: whisper (Friday night)

Se – Yi swallows as she approaches the bench, her heart stuttering and fluttering up to her throat as she catches sight of him near the streetlamp. He's sitting prone forward, hands interlocked as he looks straight ahead, the lines of his body projecting tension. It's one of those times in which he looks openly, straightforwardly vulnerable.

Holding on to the straps of her backpack, she swallows again as, obviously catching on to her approach, he turns his head. "Hey, Seol – Chan," she says.

There's enough light and she's close enough that she can see him swallow like she's done twice now. The unchecked response is enough to brighten her mood a little, and she lets a small smile ghost over her lips for a moment.

"Hey," he says. He looks away before returning to fix on her again. "How did it go?" he asks without preamble.

Se – Yi lets out a sigh as she settles beside him. "It went."

"Se – Yi …" He manages to fit tight expectation, a flare of annoyance, and some disbelief into his tone even though he's speaking barely above a whisper.

She sighs again, then, without turning to look at him, she says, – "It was miserable." It's the best description she can come up with for telling someone who wants her to be close enough to hold that she doesn't feel the same way. She would more than gladly go the rest of her life without repeating the experience.

A beat, then, – "Are you …– are you sorry?" Seol – Chan asks.

Se – Yi can't believe the question. She turns, her angry retort dying unvoiced as she catches sight of him. It's strange thinking that a mere six weeks ago he was one of those people Se – Yi thought she might never understand or make sense of in any authentic way, when suddenly a glance at the dejected set of his shoulders is enough to let her know what he's _actually_ asking.

She nods, her shoulders tense. "I'm not sorry I did it, Seol - Chan. I'm sorry that what I had to tell him had to hurt him."

He beams for a second, but he's quick to iron out the response, and Se – Yi's conscience feels at ease as his expression goes from contently relieved to serious fast as falling lead. He inhales long, looks ahead and then comes back to her. "I'm glad… that's taken care of."

Se – Yi is not feeling particularly glad but she does feel calm and certain she did the right thing, and so her response is to let the silence stretch.

After a while, Seol – Chan touches her forearm with his elbow. "D'you want to hear what I've been working on? It's a rough cut, but–"

"No," she interrupts, her tone the definition of deadpan. The outraged expression that flashes in his face is enough to make it worth her joking time.

He goes on to squint at her as he cocks his head. After some short moments, the outrage morphs into what looks like mortified confusion. "Hey, girl, – are you…– this is one of your weird jokes, no?"

She can't keep from smiling wide, almost happy for the first time since exchanging goodbyes with Seon - Woo. "Yes." Seol - Chan directs a glance heavenward, and she says, – "I'd love to hear what you've been working on, Seol – Chan."

They share earbuds for a considerable while, past the time her mom would want her home. The music streaming into her system is almost perfect, and Se - Yi smiles to let Seol – Chan know how much she loves it. It's easy except for when it feels dangerous, except when it feels terrifying, when she gets distracted from sound because he uses some very clean and slightly spicy perfume, and when she wishes they were sitting closer together on the bench, when she's thinking of over two million excuses to find a way to casually touch him.

* * *

2: reel (Saturday late afternoon)

Se – Yi bites her lower lip slightly before leaning forward, sending a sideways glance in Seol – Chan's direction. "Seol – Chan – ssi," she calls out, voice gentle but firm.

He's nodding along to the great, reeling beat they're listening to, but he grins at her in acknowledgment. "Yeah?"

"Would you be angry if I told you something?"

His right eyebrow pops up, the smile giving way to a complicated expression. "That would depend on what it is you tell me."

She ignores the flare of nervous tension at the lack of reassurance. "It's about your hook. In that song you've been practicing with Men in Black."

All complication gets swept away, simple seriousness emerging in its wake. Eyes on her, he says, – "I think the hook is amazing."

"It is, but…" She searches her mind for the right string of words for what she's about to say, happy when he lets her think, immensely content when he doesn't interrupt her. The hook for the song has been on her mind since yesterday. She could barely sleep until she had that sudden flash of revelation. "It's just that… the song is about wanting someone who could be very right for you, and the circumstances that make it hard for that person to listen to you and consider giving you a chance. It's a song about …the struggle."

"Right." His voice is level, soft.

She nods, making an effort to sit very straight as she brings her hands to settle over her knees. "So I think "Will you come walk on the sun with me" is too…– Mellow? Yes, mellow is a good word for what I'm trying to say."

"Okay." His voice is still level, with some of the softness melted off.

"You should try "Will you come crash into the sun with me?". I think that … I think that goes much better with the rest of the song and the more rock-like arrangement, Seol – Chan."

The silence stretches as he considers her suggestion, his brow furrowed. Slowly but surely, certain as stars piercing past the night sky, his mouth begins to curl up until he's doing the glimmering, intoxicating sort of smiling.

"I like that. I think …– that really could work, Se – Yi." He nods at her, gives her a playful stare. "If we go with it you'll be in the credits."

"The least you could do, Seol – Chan – ssi."

"You think so?"

"Yes. I mean, I've just upgraded your group's song from a hit to a possible classic."

He chuckles as he directs his glance heavenward. "_This girl_," – he says to no one in particular.

Se – Yi laughs with him, at him.

The mood is suddenly so light that she feels encouraged. Still, she hesitates before opening her backpack.

"Seol – Chan –ssi?"

"Yeah?"

She grabs the gift swiftly, swallows when his eyes widen in response as she deposits the small package on his lap. "This reminded me of you."

"You got me a gift?"

"No, it's really the world's tiniest grenade wrapped in soft cloth and hidden inside a package, Seol – Chan."

"You're really not that funny," he points out, and there's a chuckling quality to his tone.

He goes to open it, but she stops him, both of them sucking breath in sharper as her hand makes gentle contact with his forearm. He looks away as she drops her hand.

It's one of those terrifying moments. Her heart beats so loudly she's almost sure he can hear it.

"Could you …open it when you're back at your home?"

"Yes." He swallows before looking away. "Min Se – Yi?"

When she turns to look at him, he successfully makes her heart slam back against her ribcage all over again, this time by taking hold of her hand and dropping a finely wrapped gift on her palm.

He looks straight ahead as he says, – "Please do _not_ open that until you get home."

* * *

3: got (Sunday night)

She feels almost incandescent with longing and relief as she sees him approaching, the first time they arrive nearly at the same time. All of the blood on her body rushes up to her face and chest as it registers that he's wearing the shirt she got for him as a gift yesterday. It's a crazy sort of shirt, dark navy background with the basic bright colors in a jumble of lines that make up the profile of a d.j. spinning some beat, something she'd like to think he'd buy for himself if he'd happened to see it first. It looks about a million different sorts of sinfully wonderful as it drapes over his shoulders.

She's unable to miss it as Seol – Chan's eyes dart to her wrist when they are close enough. Amazingly, she somehow manages the feat of blushing even more as he swallows before grinning over what he sees there. The lamplight works perfectly fine, flooding the area in too harsh, bright light, and she feels entirely vulnerable. He's not blushing, but he does drop his head for a short moment, his hands sliding into his pockets.

Exchanging shy nods, they sit on what Se – Yi has come to think of as 'their' bench.

Seol – Chan nods again. She'd been too preoccupied before to focus on it, but now Se – Yi almost gasps because of the dark circles underscoring his eyes. "I could talk to my manager," he says by way of greeting, his voice the gentlest she's ever heard it.

Se – Yi frowns at his profile, having an inkling of where he means to go but not entirely certain. "Seol – Chan – ssi…"

He inhales deep, lets it out. "If you're taking me. If you're sure. I could talk to my manager. There's no 'no girlfriend' exact clause on my contract, so. With the right approach, it wouldn't be a scandal."

Se – Yi feels too warm all of a sudden. She feels frozen in place all of a sudden. She just feels too alive, too wanting, too much.

She takes a necessary pause in which her eyes linger over those dark circles, her throat going dry. "You'd do that?"

He chuckles before turning, everything in his face set: smooth and almost harsh. "We're … so in love we can barely breathe for it, how can I not do it?"

Se – Yi remembers yesterday night: being alone in her room and opening Seol – Chan's gift. Her vision had gotten blurry as she took the top off and she saw the thin, simple bracelet, her stare going once and then twice and then some more over the charm: it was the universal music symbol in palest silver. Everything about the piece of jewelry was perfect to her, something she'd buy for herself if she could afford it, and she couldn't help but wonder when it'd happened… when he'd began to understand her, when she'd began making sense to him in an authentic way as well.

And now.

Now Seol – Chan is saying something that grounds her so much that Se – Yi has to believe she's been wanting to hear it with every fiber of her being.

She doesn't try to stop herself from answering by reaching out, reaching for him, boldly taking hold of his hand, breath hitching in her throat when he moves so that now their fingers are interlocked. She wants to kiss him again. She's almost bone-sure he'll kiss her again later on tonight, but for now they are on a bench bathed in too much artificial light, and it _would_ be a little scandalous if he were caught being so publicly affectionate with his girlfriend.

Instead she leans against his side, inhales his scent, that perfect mix of nice-perfume-and-him scent, and she hears the rumble of his heartbeat steady and relentless, so much like Seol - Chan himself is. It really does feel like crashing into the sun as he brushes his thumb over their joined hands: it's that big, that intense and has the potential to be that catastrophic…

But the thing is, even crashing into the sun could feel weirdly simple and right and sensible when Seol – Chan is here crashing right along with her.

~oOo~


End file.
